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Computer Jokes
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Computer Jokes: This is a collection of computer releated jokes i've compiled over the past few months. I hope you like them. Some of them are a little bit too nerdy but i've left them in anyway! Enjoy them my fellow geeks :) I will be updating these jokes each and every week so please come back for the best computer jokes around!
We have a great collection of windows, linux and unix jokes for you nerds, plus some funny technical support jokes and stories!
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Bill Gates Demo
Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It'...
Microsoft Renames
Microsoft today announced that it will be changing its name to "Moft" -- which will clear up space on user's hard disks. It is estimated that a typica...
Users Prayer
Dear God,
Help me log on without fretting
Guide me as I'm interneting
Bless my downloading and uploading
Keep my browser from exploding.
May ...
Corporate Directive
In order to increase the security of all company computing facilities, and to avoid the possibility of unauthorized use of these facilities, new rules...
Letter
I am firmly opposed to the spread of microchips either to the home or to the office, We have more than enough of them foisted upon us in public places...
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DOS Commandments
I am thy DOS, thou shall have no OS before me, unless Bill Gates gets a cut of the profits therefrom.
Thy DOS is a character based, single user, single tasking, standalone operating system. Thou shall not attempt to make DOS network, multitask, or display a graphical user interface, for that would be a gross hack .
Thy hard disk shall never have more than 1024 sectors. You don't need that much space anyway.
Thy application program and data shall all fit in 640K of RAM. After all, it's ten times what you had on a CP/M machine. Keep holy this 640K of RAM, and clutter it not with device drivers, memory managers, or other things that might make thy computer useful.
Thou shall use the one true slash character to separate thy directory path. Thou shall learn and love this character, even though it appears on no typewriter keyboard, and is unfamiliar. Standardization on where that character is located on a computer keyboard is right out .
Thou shall edit and shuffle the sacred lines of CONFIG.SYS and AUTOEXEC.BAT until DOS functions adequately for the likes of you. Giving up in disgust is not allowed.
Know in thy heart that DOS shall always maintain backward compatibility to the holy 2.0 version, blindly ignoring opportunities to become compatible with things created in the latter half of this century. But you can still run WordStar 1.0
Improve thy memory, for thou shall be required to remember that JD031792.LTR is the letter that you wrote to Jane Doe three years ago regarding the tax deductible contribution that you made to her organization. The IRS Auditor shall be impressed by thy memory as he stands over you demanding proof .
Pick carefully the names of thy directories, for renaming them shall be mighty difficult. While you're at it, don't try to relocate branches of the directory tree, either.
Learn well the Vulcan Nerve Pinch (ctrl-alt-del) for it shall be thy saviour on many an occasion. Believe in thy heart that everyone reboots their OS to solve problems that shouldn't occur in the first place. |
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We hope you have enjoyed our computer jokes, please come back and visit us soon. We updated the jokes about computers each and every week!
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